Season Five Drabbles
by Kaybee80
Summary: Samcedes got back together in Season Five, and I was flabbergasted. It made me wanna write things. Most of these were written with spoilers in mind but veered away from canon because I suck at predicting Glee storylines. Hope you guys like it though...the first two are my versions of past Samcedes breakups. You know...since they were both offscreen.
1. It's Never Over 1

_**A/N: The title of this two-shot comes from a line in the chorus of Jeff Buckley's song, Lover You Should Have Come Over. It's very depressing but I love it and so does my Sam. This is my version of the first Samcedes breakup, basically a flashback. Enjoy...**_

_**This was betaed a long time ago by Annikay and Illiandyandra. Thanks guys!**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or the characters of Glee.**_

* * *

><p><strong>It's Never Over Pt. 1<strong>

{Sam POV}

"_Mercedes?" I mumbled warily, after daring myself for several silent moments. "I have something to give you, Baby. Like… a gift. For you," I stammered, "I bought you, um, a present…"_

_My girlfriend of the past nine weeks looked up from where she was perched between my legs, her own legs pulled in under her chin, arms wrapped around them as I sat behind her with my back against the headboard of her bed. I fingered the ends of her hair softly, and she played with the hem of my shorts. We hadn't said much in a long time, instead choosing to just enjoy each other in the silent room. _

_Quiet moments like these were pretty rare for Mercedes and I. Most of the time, we laughed and talked over each other…me doing impressions and talking about movies, Mercedes slapping my arm and telling me how crazy I am. Other times we kissed and held hands and made goo-goo eyes back and forth while whispering all the things we loved about each other. We spent a lot of time with my siblings and both our parents, me blushing whenever they made fun of us for being so cute, her getting all shy and smiling at me from behind her hair. But every once in awhile Mercedes and I had absolutely nothing to say. So we enjoyed each other peacefully, just…being. _

_It was technically the fifth of July, 2011. We'd spent Independence Day together…in fact, our whole families did. But when the fireworks show in the park ended, and we'd helped our folks pack up the leftover food and dragged my little brother and sister out of the lake to dry off, my lady and I agreed without words that we didn't wanna separate just yet. We took a walk together, flirting a little and holding hands. Then I dropped her off at home to meet her ten o'clock curfew, went home and pretended to go to sleep. Around midnight, once my family was dead to the world, I snuck out of the motel room, and crept back over to Mercedes' house. She snuck me into her room, and we got close on her bed. It was about 2am, and we'd been holdin' each other for over an hour, not speaking._

_Mercedes turned her face in order to look at me closely, and I watched as a really bashful gaze took over her entire beautiful face. When our eyes met, and she realized that I'd been staring at her, she lowered hers shyly, and whispered "Why would you buy me a present? I have you; I don't need anything else…"_

_Again, I used my eyes to crawl over her face…staring at Mercedes was a pretty creepy habit I'd picked up over the past couple of months. But in her eyes, I saw the truth in her words, and believed them. That's how things were between me and Mercedes…ever since prom. She spoke whatever was in her heart, even if what she felt was embarrassing to say out loud. And what was in her heart always spoke directly to mine. I trusted everything about her, and she trusted me the same way…When the words left her mouth, the fear I'd been clinging to left my body in a flash, and I knew I could do this. It had to be done._

_I cupped her face in one of my hands, one of my favorite things to do… gently stroking her cheek with my thumb. I kissed her lightly before finally beginning to speak again._

"_Mercedes, do you remember back in June, when we went to the Lima Bean and you wore that gold necklace with your initial on it? The one with the big capital letter 'M?'"_

_She nodded. "Sure, I remember…I remember all our dates." We grinned at one another then I kept going._

"_Well, I made a joke to you that day." I continued. "I told you, that if we weren't still hidin' our relationship from everybody, I could save up and buy you a 'S' and an 'A' to add to the chain…then everybody would know who your boyfriend was every time you wore it. And I could finally brag about us in public."_

_She smiled. _

"_And then you told me," I went on, "that you hoped I wouldn't do that...even though it was a sweet idea." I took a deep breath. "You said that the way you felt about me was way too precious for that kind of thing. You said big showy displays and grand gestures were for people who had something to prove. And that as long as you had me in your heart, you didn't care about wearing me around your neck," I stroked her cheek again. "Do you remember that?"_

_She nodded again, mouth wide open and lookin' shell-shocked. "It still amazes me the way you always remember everything I say verbatim." I gripped her hand._

"_Well," I chuckled "I've got a mind like a steel trap when it comes to you." I let go of her palm and hugged my girl to me with my free arm; she wrapped hers around my waist in response. "I've never been so fascinated with anybody in my life. You're kinda…in my head all the time, Mercedes" I shook my head. "I can't help it." _

_Mercedes cuddled into me closer and laid a palm over the hand I was still using to stroke her soft cheek. "I feel the same way, Baby. And yes…I remember it too."_

"_So anyway," I sighed, "I started saving up that day. I mean, I agree with you about the grand gesture thing, don't get me wrong..." I could tell she was about to fuss at me for spending money on her, so I cut her off at the pass. "...and I love you so much for sayin' it." We shared another peck on the lips. "I really needed to hear that, to be honest…" I zoned out for just a second, remembering the promise ring Quinn had returned to me so I could pawn it a few months ago. "But there's always gonna be a part of me that wants to SHOW you how I feel, just in case I forget, or can't find the words to TELL you. It's kinda my nature… Do you get that?"_

"_I do," Mercedes answered. "I know you, and I understand..."_

"_Good," I grinned. "I knew you would. So, at the time I didn't know exactly what I was plannin' to buy. And even though that kinda thing isn't really what we…" I cocked my head a little "are about..." I bit my lip before going on. "…I just really wanted you to have something from me that you can hold in your hands. You don't have that, and it's something that bothers me a lot, actually…"_

_My girl nuzzled closer to me and a rush of feeling over took me, so I clutched her body tighter to mine._

"_Sometimes, I'm so thankful for my family's money problems," I went on. "Cause I feel like they brought us closer and I can really see how much you love me outside of all of that. Without the bells and whistles of a normal relationship, we never get distracted… and everything we feel for each other is right there for us to recognize."_

_Mercedes pecked me on the cheek, nodding her head in agreement…she remained quiet though._

"_But other times," I continued, "It hurts me that I can't buy you flowers every time we have a date, or take you to Breadstix on the weekends. So this gift is my way of makin' up for all that. And I needed for you to have it before…"_

'_Okay," Mercedes interrupted me. "Like I said, I get it." Her tone had changed slightly, and she sounded kinda mad. But also scared, too. And sad. "So are you gonna give me my present, or do I have to pat you down?" _

_I knew why she'd cut me off, so her change in tone didn't bother me. But I shrugged, kissed her palm, untangled myself from her arms and bent over to grab my backpack from the floor. I rooted around inside until my hands clutched a rectangular black box, then I threw the bag back down and straightened up. I'd tried to formulate a speech in my head for this moment, but all my pre-arranged words left me when I saw her face again. So I winged it…_

"_Mercedes," I started, "bein' with you is so easy; it's like, the easiest thing I ever tried to do in my life." Mercedes' mood seemed to thaw a little, and it encouraged me to go on. "And these past two months have made me really happy…I've learned so much about how to really give my all to somebody from you. I should be thanking you for that." _

_She beamed. _

"_And I realized," I continued, "that I feel this way, because I never had to force myself to like you or beg you to like me back. We fell into each other like a habit, or something…a good one." This was frustrating. "God, I'm really bad at this…"_

_She started to smile. "You're perfect. Go on…"_

_I grinned back, melting just a little bit more. "It's just that…" I struggled through the words. "… fallin' in love with you Mercedes Jones, was simpler than slippin' into my favorite tee shirt or fallin' asleep in the bathtub. I did it without even thinkin' about it. I want you to know that you're my heart, my world. And a huge part of me still needs to know that you wear me around your neck everywhere you go." _

_I opened the box. _

"_But what I feel for you is so much…more…than just wantin' you to wear my name. Its so much better than just runnin' around tellin' the world that we're a couple." I nodded toward the box. "And what I got you says that…"_

_I gestured for her to lift the necklace out. _

"_This…"_

_she held the jewelry in her hands and inspected the gold chain with the charm spelling out the word "LOVE" in huge scripted letters. _

"…_is what I want the world to see, whenever you put it together with one of your crazy outfits." _

_She giggled, but tears were forming in her eyes, too._

"_This…" I stammered, "…is all I need for people to know when they look at you. I don't want what we have to be all about my claimin' you or stamping SAM on your skin. I just want the people around you to know that you're loved; that somebody loves you in big capital letters and that you know what that means." I shrugged. "And I had to give this to you today before I le…"_

_She cut me off again, but this time with a kiss. Again, I knew what she was trying to avoid hearing me say, but I met her lips with my own and allowed my girl to thank me._

_Our kiss was really sweet, like all of our kisses. But it was also fevered in a way that we had never really shared up until that point, as well. I was Mercedes first real kiss…I knew that without her even having to tell me. But she was a quick learner and trusted me never to push her too fast. We were comfortable showing affection like this, and I'd been slowly becoming addicted to the feel and taste of her mouth on mine for awhile now. I never even contemplated going anything other than slow. I just never wanted her to feel pressure from me. Like I said though, this kiss was different. _

_Mercedes clutched at my shirt and pulled me even closer to her body. I felt her warmth, felt her heart beating against my chest. Our faces were pressed together close enough for me to feel the tears on her face. Her eyelashes fluttered against mine. Instead of pecking my lips, she licked and sucked them. Her eyes were closed. Instead of responding to my tongue with hers, she found mine first. I heard Mercedes whimper, felt her chest heave against my own. She poured all of her affection for me into this kiss and I never wanted to let her go. But I had to. _

_I wrenched my mouth off of hers and blurted out, "I wanted you to have this before I left today. I wanted you to know how I feel, just in case there's a part of you that wants to be okay with never seeing me again. I want you to know, Miz Mercedes Jones, that I don't think I will ever love anybody the way I love you and I need you to remember that every time you wear this necklace. I hope you wear it every day..." _

_By this time tears were streaming down my own face. But my words were coming a lot easier._

"_I know that when I told you I was moving to Kentucky and we decided that we had to break up…" a solitary tear fell from my eye, because I hadn't wanted that to happen at all. "…we promised not to talk about it again until we said goodbye." _

_I choked up a little, here. _

"_And I get why you wanted to keep that…sad…thing out of the last two weeks we had together." _

_I looked deep into her eyes and stated, "But I need you to know that I don't think I'll ever be able to say goodbye to you. Not really…I just..." _

_I took another deep breath. _

"…_I need you to know that what we have isn't ending. You need to understand that I don't have to be in Lima to love you. So I'm breaking my promise…"_

_Mercedes sniffed against my chest, she heaved as loud sobs wracked her body, and I held her, crying my own sad tears. Again, my girl whimpered, and I wanted to comfort her as much as I could. So I lay down on the bed and wrapped both my arms around her. I held her as she cried, wiped her tears. She kissed my fingertips and struggled to speak. I shushed her and held her quietly for a long, long time._

_Eventually, Mercedes found her voice, and whispered, "But what if I never see you again? What if I spend the rest of my life hoping what you just said is the truth, but it never does? What if you and I never…"_

"_Shhhh…" I whispered against her neck. "…that'll never happen. I'd have to forget all about you for us to be strangers forever, and I can't. I'm not saying this to give you false hope, darlin'. I'm not trying to give you anymore heartache today…"_

_Mercedes let out another soft sob._

"_...But one day, when the timing is right," I promised, "you and I will find each other again. And I swear to you, until that happens, you'll be in my heart and on my mind." _

_I stroked her cheek again and wiped away a few more tears. _

"_I need you to understand that as long as I know that, I can live with having to leave you right now. I'm not saying good bye to you..."_

_With my eyes, I pleaded with her to understand._

"_...because it's not our time to say goodbye. Not yet. And I need you to truly get, that whatever we do over the next few months or years, whoever we learn to love in the meantime...or wherever life takes us separately…I know that we always have a shot at forever as long as you're in me and I'm in you." _

_Finally, I could see that Mercedes understood why I'd said all of this. I could tell the exact moment that she knew exactly what I was about to ask._

_Out loud I wondered, "So am I?"_

_The nod Mercedes gave me as I hugged her close to me again was all the answer I needed…_


	2. It's Never Over 2

_**A/N: Its my headcanon that the whole Bram thing and Sam saying he'd always been into Brittany was the result of an angry Sam. I have this whole scenario in my head about him being pissed at Mercedes for breaking up with him over the summer after he senior year and taking it out in the douchey-est way possible. So here it is...my version of events. Hope you like it!**_

_**Thanks Illy and Anni! I bet y'all never thought this one would see the light of day lol.**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or the characters of Glee.**_

* * *

><p><strong>It's Never Over Pt. 2<strong>

{Sam POV}

"_Hmmm…" I sighed. "…this is nice, isn't it?" I wondered aloud. My girlfriend of the past four months breathed deeply in my ear in agreement. She and I were sprawled out in our PJs, her body draped over mine as we cuddled. Our legs were tangled together, bodies aligned; we shared kisses here and there while enjoying the peaceful Sunday afternoon. Mercedes clutched and stroked my bare stomach just above the sweat pants I had on. I'd placed one of my palms in the small of her back underneath the camisole she wore with stretchy shorty-shorts. My fingertips grazed her bottom and used my other hand to caress her bare arm. It __**was **__nice. _

_We were laying on a king-sized bed in the Red Rooster Inn, early August 2012. Mercedes and I had started spending a night or two together, every week since I took her to her senior Prom. It was kind of a habit we just fell into…Not to have sex, or anything…we hadn't done that yet; or even talked about it really. But we knew that spending time together every day before she took off for LA wasn't enough for us. Losing her the year before and fighting to get her back had taught me a hard lesson in making the most of the moments we had left. Sleeping together while NOT sleeping together was something we started after the dance and neither one of us wanted to stop…she was my other half, and I was hers; sharing a bed like this was our way of expressing that. _

_I'm not gonna lie; after prom, I had sort of expected for me and Mercedes to take that step. I'd been really looking forward to it, obviously. It's why I got the room in the first place. But I saw the fear in her eyes when I pulled up to the room and the trepidation all over her face as I used the card key to let us in. I never wanted Mercedes to feel anything other than absolutely happy in my company, so I made up my mind to not bring it up that night at all. The cuddles and kisses were enough for me. And we still hadn't talked about it or whatever, because I wanted sex to be a something she brought up first. Besides, to my way of thinking we had plenty of time for that…_

"_Whose house do you parents think you're sleeping over at tonight?" I asked, grinning. "Three Divas?" It was kinda funny to me that we were doing all this sneaking around just to cuddle._

"_No," Mercedes rolled her eyes and slapped my arm playfully. "Tina's. But it's probably unnecessary at this point." She smirked, "there's no way in hell my parents haven't already figured out where I am twice a week by now... and anyway, I leave for LA in less than a month."_

_This was true, although we still hadn't talked about that, either. _

"_So do you think they hate me for giving you a reason to lie them?" I worried, raising my head a little and committing to putting off that inevitable conversation for a few more days._

"_Nah…not at all" Mercedes answered, "They probably appreciate not having to do the whole big-deal sex talk with me. Plus, they trust you." She smiled, and I believed her. "They love you as much as I do, Sam."_

"_I love them, too…" I lowered my head again. Curiosity made me ask, "What would you tell them if they wanted to do the whole 'big deal sex' talk?" Mercedes cut her eyes at me suspiciously. "No pressure or anything, I'm just curious..." I assured her._

_She visibly unclenched a little and said, "My parents know I don't intend to have sex until I know its forever. And they know how I feel about you. So if they ask, I'll tell them it hasn't happened yet, but…"_

"_But you can see forever with me?" It was actually something I wanted to hear her say. So maybe I pressed the issue a little too soon._

_Mercedes nodded, looking a little bit conflicted...it worried me. "I guess, in a lot of ways, yes…"_

_The way my girl phrased that should have reassured me, but it scared me a little. I decided I should push her some…try and figure out what was going on in Mercedes' beautiful head. "In what ways, yes?" I probed, anxious to know that I wasn't the only one dream-building._

"_Well, Sam…" Like always, Mercedes took a minute to approach her answer thoughtfully. "…you already know that this past year with Shane taught me a lot about myself."_

"_Yeah…" I prodded, understanding what she meant._

"_And I know that I'll never be able to deny you a place in my heart again," she added._

_I grinned._

"_There's like… a part of me… a spot that'll always be...I don't know...warm, just for you," she went on. "A place in my soul that's kind of… sacred to us. And I'll never get over that."_

_She beamed at me and I probably should have just let it go right there, but for some reason, I still didn't like where this was going. "Okay…well, in what ways, no, then?" I asked, unable to stop myself._

"_Sam…" she sighed. "You don't wanna talk about this now…" Mercedes closed her eyes to avoid mine. "Trust me; we have two weeks before I leave. We should enjoy them; just like last summer…"_

"_Wait, what?" I straightened up in the bed and glared at Mercedes, figuring out without her saying the words that she was planning to break up with me again before she left the Midwest. "What the hell does that mean? Last summer you dumped me. Are you plannin' on doin' that again, are you?"_

_I honesty hadn't even seen it coming._

_Mercedes sat up too. Her worried expression told me all I needed to know. "Sam," she tried to explain. "Sam," she tried to explain. "Please don't take it that way! I mean, I haven't fallen out of love with you or anything. You know that..."_

"_So why..."_

"_Timing," she cut me off. "That's what's always been our main problem." She paused to think and started again. "How we feel for one another has never been an issue" She shrugged again. "If you think about it, this summer is no different than last summer, really…"_

_I took a deep breath, collected my thoughts and tried to quiet my slowly building anger. Then I spoke, using the most calm tone of voice I could manage. "That's a load of bull," I stated through gritted teeth, and figuring out too late that it was probably the wrong thing to say. She hates it when I call her out._

_This time Mercedes glared at me. _

"_Sam, stop…" Crossing her arms over her chest, she accused, "…you __**had**__ to know this was going to happen at some point. You knew we'd have no choice. It's just like last time…"_

_I know my face was screwed up in anger and that challenging Mercedes at this point would be a bad idea, but I couldn't stop myself. "Keep saying it, then…over and over," I said sarcastically,"try and convince yourself." _

_Mercedes narrowed her eyes and I bit my lip before giving myself permission to speak again. _

"_You know what, Mercedes Jones? You're a liar." _

_It was obvious that what I'd said hurt her feelings, but a that point I didn't even care. _

"_You know, last summer I never even thought that you were capable of lying to me…" _

_Mercedes avoided my gaze. _

"…_I'm serious. I thought telling me something untrue would be too painful for you to even try. But when I came back, I figured out that sometimes you do it anyway…even though you suck at it. And I never cared, before, because I can see right through you, anyway."_

_I ticked off my fingers "All your 'summer fling' talk, and 'so June' bullshit…I could ignore it, even though it hurt me...and that was bad enough." _

_I saw a tear fall from her eye but forced myself not to back down. _

"_But this time, you're also lying to yourself, which makes you the worst kind of hypocrite in the world. And I love you too much to let you do it…" Now I was avoiding her eyes as well. "Not this time."_

"_Evans…"_

"_Please get this through your stubborn head..." I interrupted. "...This summer, Mercedes Jones, is NOT like last summer…like, AT ALL!" I tried to gather my thoughts. "It's just…not!"_

_I pointed my index finger directly at Mercedes' face, which I know she hates. _

"_Last time," I continued, "we didn't know where I was gonna be livin' after I found out about the move. I knew my dad wouldn't have money for a house right off the bat, and that we'd be moving from place to place for awhile...meaning that, at least in the beginning...we wouldn't be able to write. Last summer, you and I didn't know if I'd be working in whatever city I moved to, or what my hours would be. Last summer we didn't know when I'd be able to afford a cell phone to call you on, or a computer so we could Skype. We didn't know if I'd be able to get away and take a four hour drive to visit you, or if your parents would agree to let you come visit me. We didn't know if the next time we saw each other would be this year or ten years from now! We didn't know any of that!" I threw my hands up in frustration. "That's why we broke up!"_

"_Sam…" she had softened, but I could tell Mercedes was still planning on arguing with me, so I cut her off again._

"_But this year, all of that crap is different!" I explained, getting angrier with every word. "First of all, I'm in Lima now! And I'm gonna STAY in Lima for my whole senior year! You know this…we already talked about it, and it ain't news to you! I love it here, and THIS PLACE –the place where we fell in love- IS MY HOME!"_

"_I know that Sam, but…"_

"_But nothing, Mercedes! This town, your hometown, is where I'll be…and you'll be back, all the time!" I counted on my fingers. "To help out with the Glee club, and visit your parents on weekends, and stay in town over Thanksgiving and Christmas break. We'll be seeing each other all the time!" I reiterated._

"_Sam…"_

"_Quit interrupting me, Mercedes!" I raised my voice. "This is important! It's important that you listen to me and understand that this time around, you know exactly what to expect from me. What to expect from us!" I grabbed her hand, forcing Mercedes to look me in the eye. "It's important for you to realize the difference is that this time, I'll be sleepin' in the house where your best friend lives...down the hall from the same bedroom you sleep over in all the time!"_

"_Kurt and I aren't best friends anymore…"_

"_And you know how to reach me," I ignored her. "Every day; you know where to reach me! I've had the same cell number since December…that ain't changing anytime soon! I don't have a job; my folks send me an allowance every month...I'm gonna have time to make the long distance thing work!" _

_She averted her eyes, despite the fact that I still had a grip on her hands._

"_Mercedes," I grunted in frustration. "I used my laptop to load a video of YOU onto YouTube, and you can Skype me on that same laptop every damn night!"_

"_I get that, Sam, but…"_

"_But what?" I countered. "Answer this...don't you still love me?"_

"_Yes," she whispered, crying. "I do."_

"_And do you still believe you'll love me forever?" I was shouting._

"_I do," she nodded. _

"_But you're still willing to break my heart; maybe find another transitional guy to hang out with, just because long distance relationships are hard?"_

"_No…" Mercedes was shouting too by this time. "…that's not it, Sam! That's not what this is! I don't want anybody else!"_

"_Then why?" By this time, my own tears were dripping onto the bedspread. "Why would you do this to us again? Why doesn't our love mean as much to you as it does to me?"_

"_It does…"_

"_So?"_

"_So, what if everything I feel right now isn't as real as I think it is, Sam? Huh? I don't know who I am in love...I don't have anything to compare this feeling to," she reminded me. "What if I head off to California, hellbent on a future with you, while you're in Ohio...slowly falling out of love with me?" _

_She snatched her hands from mine and crossed her arms over her chest stubbornly._

"_What if all of this is just puppy love and I just can't tell the difference?"_

_At this point my shoulders were shaking with rage. Mercedes could tell, and she softened her tone a lot._

"_Sam…" she pleaded with me to understand. "You're the only guy I've ever really had feelings for. So what if I don't understand these feelings enough to realize that all this forever talk is unrealistic? And you're just ignoring all the problems you see coming because in this moment, I'm all that you want? Hell..." she tried to laugh. "...that could change at any time."_

"_You think I would cheat on you?" I was outraged. "You think I could EVER cheat on you?"_

"_No…" she allowed. "…I don't. But you're just…so used to always having a girlfriend around, Sam. You'll get lonely and resent me for not being here." Mercedes shrugged. "I mean, we could end up hurting each other in other ways than just cheating… hating each other, really. All because I'm too dumb to see that this won't work? We'll never end up together if we make a mistake like that right now…"_

"_Okay, just stop it!" I interrupted. "I know my heart, and I know it belongs with you. You can double talk and make a bunch of 'what if' predictions and I can pretend to listen to 'em and argue with you all night long."_

_Fighting tears, I stood up and fumbled in my bag for the shirt I'd worn when we checked into the room._

"_But I can see you've made your mind up already," I continued, putting it on. "Just like I can tell there's a part of you that wants me to try and change your mind." _

_When I said that Mercedes avoided my eyes on purpose and I was so angry to be right in that moment that I never even checked to see if there were any tears there. Instead, I said the ugliest words that I've ever spoken out loud._

"_The only problem, is that right now I'm not even sure that what we have is worth fighting for."_

_I watched my girlfriend jut her chin out stubbornly, knowing I was gonna be hurt even more if I remained in that room. So I stuffed my feet into my shoes, angrily, picked up my backpack, and made my way to the hotel room door. I opened it, turned around and said one last thing. _

"_Last summer, Mercedes Jones, I gave you my love to wear around your neck," I started, pointing to myself and her. "When I did that, I thought I made it perfectly damn clear where I stand with you...where I want wanted this to go..." I gestured between us again and ignored the sniffle and sob she couldn't quite hold in. "I promised you then," I went on, "that our forever would start as soon as we found each other again. And we have. That was all I thought I ever needed to say and I'm not gonna crap all over that be defending our love to you in this room."_

_Allowing myself a moment of hope, I searched Mercedes' face for a sign that she wanted to take it all back; but, there wasn't one there. _

"_What we have is worth more than the little bit of credit you've given it, and deep down...you know it too." I took a breath, wiping away tears of my own by that time. "You just need to know that I can't hold out any hope for us, if I'm gonna be doin' it all on my own. Right now you should be using all your forward thinkin' skills to plan OUR future. You should be figuring out how to make us work, instead of figuring out all the reasons why we won't. You should be thinking about the day I move to LA to be with you, instead of thinking about why your being in LA means we can't be together. So I'm gonna leave you with this…and it's the first and last ultimatum I will ever use on you. I can promise you that much."_

_I looked at her face...beautiful, even when it was tear streaked... and choked out, "If you do this, Mercedes…if you break up with me…I never wanna speak to you again. So just call me to let me know where you land."_

_And as I walked from the Red Rooster to the Hummel's home, tears now freely streaming down my cheeks, I already knew what choice she would make._

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: And that is the last angst-y story you will probably ever get outta me lol.**_


	3. Not The Same

**A/N: This was written after Bash but before Tested aired. At the time of writing, I had no clue if Mercedes would do the do. Obviously I was wrong. Whatever...I'm just glad I found the will to fic before the S5 finale aired. It was touch and go there for a minute.**

**Thanks to Anni and Illy for literally being the only ones who read this after I wrote it months and months ago. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or the characters of Glee.**

* * *

><p><strong>Not The Same<strong>

Sam Evans bit his lips nervously. Today was a very important day in his very young life; no doubt about that one... In fact, it marked a turning point, so to speak, in the most vital relationship he'd probably ever have.

This week had been pretty freaking crazy. On Monday afternoon, Sam found himself platonic friends with Mercedes Jones again...something he'd actually been praying for -off and on- these last two years. Then he and Blaine had moved in with her; going from strangers to roommates in the span of several hours' time! Say what you will about dumb blondes, but Sam Evans knew a sign from God when _he_ saw one. In the spirit of _carpe diem_, Young Evans immediately used his sudden close proximity to the ex-girlfriend all others paled in comparison to…used it to make a play, that is. Therefore, Tuesday the couple kissed and tentatively agreed to explore romance again. Wednesday they'd gone on what Sam hoped was the first of many dates. Afterward, while feverishly kissing Mercedes atop her comfy king sized bed, he discovered just _why _the couple's physical relationship had never progressed very far those hot summer nights almost a lifetime ago. Then couple broke apart quickly, both wondering if this would be the rock on which Samcedes finally split for good.

Thursday found the pair awkwardly avoiding one another while Mercedes winced in remembrance of having to squawk the words "I'm a virgin," and Sam wondered what this would mean for their tenuous-at-the-best-of-times relationship. Finally, Friday reared its embarrassing head, and the new couple hung out innocently all day; avoiding the subject altogether. Mercedes spent the evening soul searching, while Sam quietly resolved to give Mercedes time to think.

Apparently, Mercedes hadn't need very much time.

Today was Saturday, late afternoon. Blaine would be at the loft until the next day, and Mercedes and Sam were having their second official date since reuniting again. She'd formally invited him to a home-cooked meal in their kitchen via text, and pointedly made reference to a "very important and much-needed postdinner talk," once he'd accepted. They'd eaten, cleaned up, and now sat together on the sofa in the den, each waiting for the other to say something. Truth be told, Sam had no idea what to say.

As he studied Mercedes' profile silently, Sam asked himself where he thought they stood as a couple. The fact was, that both he and Mercedes were very prone to making mistakes…their courtship had always been steeped in secrecy, their daily interactions unnecessarily drama-filled, and their breakups extremely painful. The fact that they each were willing to revisit those times said a lot for how much joy both parties got from being together. And knowing what had happened before, both Sam and Mercedes were determined to get things right this time around...determined not to repeat those same mistakes.

Following Tuesday's kiss they talked about the past, laid demons to rest, and resolved to work hard at being a different, more mature couple in New York City. They'd made promises…promises to finally end the destructive patterns established years ago, while deep in the throes of puppy love. Sam knew that in order for this to last, it was imperative that he, in particular, start making changes right away.

Sam knew Mercedes, probably better than anyone outside of her immediate family. So he had a pretty good idea of how she'd spent her time since making the all-important revelation mid-makeout. He knew there was probably a dog-eared and never-completed-to-Mercedes'-satisfaction pro/con list folded into a compartment of her wallet…a list that enumerated all of the reasons she should _want_ to make love to her boyfriend, contrarily placed right alongside the reasons why she _shouldn't._ He knew she'd probably prayed and meditated about the subject, and asked God for clarity on what to do. Sam also had a sneaking suspicion that she'd sought out the advice of some of their friends. So he was pretty sure Mercedes knew whether or not she felt ready yet, for them to take that step. Only thing was…he had no idea where she'd landed.

Feeling helpless, Sam resigned himself to honor whatever decision Mercedes had made. He was trying to break old habits, after all. Therefore, if she'd decided to wait on the day she deemed them ready to make love, he would wait.

This wasn't easy by the way…

There was a time -way back when- when Sam would have seen Mercedes' indecision, gone on the offensive, and immediately planned and executed a grand gesture to battle her resolve. He _was_ the boy who'd once used YouTube to woo, and proudly put a conflicted girl's name in lights... But not this time. This time he'd forego any temptation to serenade Mercedes, in an unfair attempt at changing her mind. He wouldn't sing in Spanish or dust off any Michael Jackson songs. If Mercedes wasn't ready for sex, he'd wait with her…he loved her; he was an adult...an adult who now knew better than to apply pressure in the interest of getting his way. Taking Mercedes' hand, Sam exhaled, praying for patience if that was what she required of him.

Mercedes stroked the fingers Sam had threaded between her own, also pondering where they stood. She knew, and could admit, that she'd been irresponsible at times with Sam's affection. Mercedes knew that in many ways she'd wronged him, even more than she had Shane... and she longed to close that chapter of her life once and for all. Mercedes had always been the type of person to observe and learn from the mistakes of those around her. It was something she was proud of, actually… and the tendency had served her well so far. One of the lessons she'd taken closest to heart, while watching her friends fall in and out of love, was that love caused pain. She'd experienced the hurt of the lonely firsthand, and plenty of it. It sucked. Mercedes knew that lovers often caused one another painful heartache, and she desperately wished to avoid that as well, if she could. But the biggest and most crucial source of pain… from what she could tell… happened when you found love and_ lost_ it. It was something she managed to avoid for years, until Sam Evans snuck his way into her heart, returning to it with a regularity that terrified her. Twice now, in the spirit of self-preservation, she'd pushed him away. And she'd been proud of herself for sacrificing short-term happiness for long-term comfort. The only problem was, now that Mercedes had finally established a career -the career she'd expected to fill her soul until love felt safer- it still wasn't enough.

So she'd faced her trepidation head-on and come to New York for a fresh stab at loving Sam. And the Mercedes of years past would have bolted back to LA, rather than sit around the debating the intricacies of her still-intact hymen with any guy! But this time, Mercedes was determined to do things differently...and knew she had to start now. Gone was the girl who sought advice from well-meaning guidance counselors wielding really insulting pamphlets. No more was the girl who needed to be hit over the head by a snarky cheer coach spouting very public truths, in the interest of settling very private matters once and for all. Instead, she'd give her man the opportunity to BE her man...they would face her fear as a team.

Mercedes released Sam's hand, cleared her throat, turned to him and began. "You know, Sam... Sometimes I wish I were more like our friends," she smiled briefly, stood up purposefully, and for some reason he couldn't fathom, walked across the room to stand before the mantle over the fireplace.

"Oh, yeah?" he replied, confused already. "How do you mean?"

Mercedes, still on the other side of the room, picked up a charcoal lighter, and began to light the many pillar candles placed there, while simultaneously answering his question. "Well, take Tina and Rachel for instance. This whole 'first time' thing I've been struggling with? "

Sam nodded.

"Well, it never really caused either of them the kind of stress its causing me. I mean, they both slept with their high school boyfriends, in their parents' houses, no less...and never looked back." The young woman, having methodically lit the four candles resting above the fireplace, now began doing so to the three scented jar candles on the kitchen table. "No fear..."

Sam shrugged, still not sure where this conversation was going. "That's not really you, though, Mercedes."

After he uttered the words, the young man realized the inherent truth in them and continued.

"I know you; if you'd have gone there, then some part of you likely would have felt like you were disrespecting your mama's house or something. You'd have worried about your church family finding out, or your business bein' spread around school. So you can't compare yourself to them."

She paused briefly and shot Sam a warm smile, pleased that her boyfriend knew her so well, even after all this time. "True. But I still envy them. Santana and Brittany too." Having lit the candles on the table, Mercedes took a few steps and resumed her task, this time tackling the tapers she'd placed in the silver candleholders, borrowed from Kurt's "faux antique" collection and arranged on the breakfast bar.

"Why Brittana?" Sam asked, mesmerized by this random incessant candle-lighting, but also enjoying the effect of the flames as they cast shadows on the wall he faced. He sniffed, and smiled, as the White Chocolate-scented wax wafted from across the room. He was beginning to relax, and wondered if perhaps his girl had lit them for that reason.

"I guess, before I really knew them, I pretty much figured those two were playing with fire...the way they both basically had sex with whoever, whereever and whenever; in those days before they became a couple..." Mercedes started, walking over to where Sam still sat and bending to give him a peck on the forehead. She straightened up, just as he reached out for a proper kiss and giggled, turning to the side table and lighting the two candles floating in a glass bowl filled with water there. "...and in some ways I was right. I mean, back then Satan was forever coming down with mono... to the point where it didn't even phase her anymore. And Britts would have ninja-attack sex with randoms all the time. That's how used to it they were. I used to feel kinda sorry for them sophomore year."

"Oh, yeah?" was Sam's confused reply.

"Yeah," Mercedes replied. "But you know, after the three of us got close in the Troubletones, I kinda realized something."

Sam turned as Mercedes crossed over to the other side of the sofa, where a second set of floating candles waited to be ignited. "What was that?" he asked, wondering if this was Mercedes' way of leading into the talk they desperately still needed to have…

This time it was Mercedes' turn to shrug. "Just that Britts and Satan were lucky in a lot of ways, too. Because Senior year, those two were the most steady couple I knew. They never cheated on each other, never questioned their feelings for one another... Watching them, I figured out that they had an advantage. Till they found each other, sex meant nothing...it was just this physical thing they enjoyed. Like a hobby."

Sam chuckled.

"When they finally found something real, it was easy for my girls to recognize," Mercedes went on. The only candles left unlit in the room was one tall multi-layered pillar, sitting on a stoneware decorative holder on the coffee table right in front of Sam. As she bent to light the three wicks on top, Mercedes muttered, "It must be nice to be so sure of where your heart belongs from the get-go. They're lucky."

Sam watched Mercedes put down the lighter and begin switching off lamps and light fixtures in the foyer, kitchen, hallway and living room. When she finally returned to the den she turned on the iHome, selected a playlist and filled the room with soft music. Finally satisfied that she'd created a romantic environment for this important discussion, Mercedes settled into the sofa and cuddled into Sam's side.

He quickly kissed her forehead and replied "But, again, you wouldn't be you if you took that kinda attitude about it." He shot his lady a lopsided grin and continued. "Mercedes, leapin' first and learnin' from your mistakes afterward is fine for some people. It works for them, but you're not the type...you're more careful than that. You like to think stuff through before you act. Because consequences matter to you." He tickled her side. "Can you imagine how many dudes probably got their hearts broken or their feelings hurt by Britt and Satan when they were sowin' all those wild oats?" Sam obviously bit his tongue instead of reminding Mercedes that he had been one of those boys on multiple occasions.

Mercedes let out a hearty chuckle "Probably too many too count."

"Exactly," Sam nodded. "And you'd hate to cause somebody unnecessary pain."

Mercedes straightened up, causing him to whimper at the loss of direct bodily contact, and faced Sam. She'd made up her mind to speak freely. "Sam, you don't think I'm making too much out of this whole virginity thing, do you? That I should maybe try to be more like our friends?"

Sam, pleased that they were finally going to talk about the huge pink elephant in the dimly lit room, shook his head vigorously, "No way. It is a big deal. For both of us." Sam realized, in that moment, how much their love must have meant to Mercedes... how important he was to her, to even consider sharing her first time with him. She valued her virginity more than most of the people they knew. Which meant she'd always value the guy who eventually took it even more. All of a sudden, he became flattered by the amount of careful thought she was giving the issue. Sam grinned and continued. "I've never been anybody's first before. That's a big responsibility."

Undaunted by his kind words, Mercedes continued to look him directly in the eye and asked, "Do you, right now, feel like I'm using my being a virgin as a convenient excuse to do exactly what I'm guilty of doing in the past between us...overthinking things, getting scared, and sabotaging our happiness?"

"No," Sam pulled Mercedes into a firm embrace, stroking her hair and squeezing her tightly. "Not at all. I can tell when you're runnin' scared, and this ain't it." He pulled away, gazing deeply into Mercedes' eyes, from which several happy tears had shed when he answered her question in the negative. "Just like you said before, if we're gonna do this thing again, we can't be goin' into it like a couple-a kids. Not if its gonna last this time. And I want us to. Whether or not we're ready to make love is most grown-up decision we've ever had to make together." Again, Sam embraced his girl as he told her, "It's the kinda thing that can change everything... Make you want forever with me, or never wanna see me again. So you take all the time you need to make it."

Mercedes took a deep breath, exhaling on a sigh of pure relief. She smiled into the fabric covering the firmness of his chest, and wiped away the tears lingering on her cheeks. She hadn't known, when dressing and preparing for their date this evening, exactly what she needed and wanted to hear before she told him her decision. But, true to form, Sam had said exactly the right thing. She was no longer nervous, no longer apprehensive. She looked forward to spending the next several decades allowing this man to make her happy...making him happy. She raised her head, kissed Sam again and rose determinedly to her feet.

Starting now.

Silently, and determinedly, Mercedes pulled her roommate to his feet. Standing on tiptoe, she clutched his broad shoulders and met his lips with her own. As they kissed, Mercedes trailed her hands across the curve of his biceps and along the length of his forearms, caressing backs of his hands and entwining his fingers with her own. The kiss continued, seductive music filled the room, candlelight flickered...and Mercedes, emboldened by her lover's sincerity, used_ her_ hands to propel _his_ hands towards the front of the tracksuit she'd worn for their date. She'd donned a shot-skirted velour version of Coach Sylvester's infamous duds before starting their meal.

Still silent, the couple released the zipper in tandem, opened the jacket, and revealed the top half of the silky pink negligee Mercedes wore underneath. As her boyfriend gazed in wonder at her nearly naked form, Mercedes used _her_ fingers to make_ his_ fingers loosen drawstring that held the tiny skirt on her ample hips. Together they pulled said drawstring, untying the bow she'd lovingly knotted. Together they watched as the soft fabric fell to her feet and revealed the rest of the aforementioned lingerie. Mercedes confidently stepped outside the circle formed by the now unnecessary fabric and posed, hands on her hips, as her boyfriend took in the basic gist of the conclusion his girlfriend had come to.

Mercedes smirked, saying, "I figured you'd say that. And I've taken all the time I need."

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: This was boring to me. But the next ones are better, I promise.**_


	4. Pillow Talk

**A/N: Ok, I'm not sure why, but this season 5 Samcedes stuff is truly causing my muse to return. And I'm not saying I don't find some of their new plotlines problematic, but I think I kinda love this ship again. **

**What is my life?**

**Anyway, I guess this whole series is just me, taking their canon shit and fixing it in a way that appeals to me more. I like to watch the spoilers and then write the stories sometime before the new episode airs. That's why they bumped uglies in my last one. This one is set sometime after "Tested," and I'm running with the "Mercedes is waiting until marriage" storyline. But there's obviously gonna be a twist…**

**Oh, and in my head, Sam's fascination with the **_**Facts of Life**_** caused Mercedes to re-embrace some of the old TV shows her parents enjoyed at home growing up. So she marathon-watched all the seasons of **_**A Different World**_** and got hooked.**

* * *

><p><strong>Pillow Talk<br>**

{{ALARM RINGS}}

It was 6am on a beautiful Sunday morning, and just as she had every other morning over the last ten weeks, Mercedes Jones awoke hastily to the piercing wail of the alarm on her cell phone. Wrapped tightly in her favorite squashy comforter as well Sam Evans' strong arms, she took a deep breath and silently appreciated her surroundings.

Sam and Mercedes' sleeping positions never changed…as a matter of fact, the way they slept had become an important routine for the couple. Sam preferred the left side of the bed and slept primarily on his right side; Mercedes preferred the right, and thoroughly enjoyed being his little spoon. Sam was hot-natured and rarely slept in a shirt or under the covers… never minding it if she managed to steal them all during the night; Mercedes routinely hogged all the bedclothes, happy to have Sam pressed against her back while ensconced in her bedtime cocoon. Both cell phones lay charging on her bedside table, owing to the fact that there was no outlet near his...however; again, this benefited everyone, due to Sam's penchant for sleeping through alarms and Mercedes' tendency to wake up immediately. Although sleeping in the same bed was something they had started purely by happenstance -Mercedes and Sam having accidentally fallen asleep watching movies while Blaine entertained Kurt in the second bedroom- the couple quickly realized that they slept together very peacefully. Both Mercedes and Sam often wondered how they'd ever managed to sleep before then.

Just like every morning, Mercedes pictured briefly the episode of _A Different World_ in which a newly married Whitley Gilbert Wayne awoke before her husband, snuck out of bed, ran to the bathroom, primped, and returned in the stealthiest manner possible…all in the interest of keeping said husband attracted to her. As usual, Mercedes giggled at the thought, her laughter causing Sam to stir. She then disengaged the alarm, executed a perfect 180 degree rotation under the covers, waited patiently for Sam to situate himself on his back, then drew the covers over both their bodies in the air conditioned room. After Sam placed a customary light kiss on her forehead, muttering "just five more minutes, Baby…" Mercedes finally cuddled into the crook of his arm, plastered her body fully into his side, and draped an arm across his midsection. As Sam's hold on Mercedes tightened slightly, she rested her head against his bicep…all the better to enjoy their early morning cuddle.

As they embraced, Mercedes' mind wandered over everything in she and Sam's past that had brought them, finally, to this place. The fact is, that their relationship had never been easy or drama-free. Teenage angst had always been a huge factor when they struggled to be together in the early days…and it was pretty likely that new, more grown-up issues would arise the longer they were paired. But the one thing that remained consistent, throughout all the couple's struggles, was the sense of contentment they both found in one another's arms. Comfort was something they'd always managed to share…a burning instinct to take care of each other. In a lot of ways, Mercedes mused, she'd missed Sam's hugs more than she had his kisses every time they'd parted over the years. And she was confident that he'd agree. Not that his kisses didn't make her dizzy…

Wide awake, Mercedes raised her head slightly to look at her boyfriend more closely. The young woman rarely allowed herself the luxury of openly staring at the man, despite the way he'd gawked at her constantly from across the choir room back when they were in high school. But today, Mercedes decided to treat herself…and she wasn't disappointed in the least by what she saw. She suppressed a giggle at the atrocious bedhead he sported, rolling her eyes because she knew the silk scarf she wore -and satin pillowcase she slept on- protected her own flawless mane from the same fate. Her eyes traveled lower, taking in Sam's closed eyes…disappointed that she couldn't see his beautiful green orbs, but smiling in appreciation of the long pale eyelashes fluttering slightly as she watched. Mercedes' gaze focused on Sam's scruffy blond beard growing thick on his cheeks, which did nothing to hide his handsome chiseled jaw and strong chin. He'd gone without shaving for several days, at her own request, because she loved the way it felt against her collarbone and lips. Unable to resist stroking it, Mercedes reached up and ran her fingertips lightly over the adorable stubble, causing her man to finally wake up fully. His eyes opened, meeting her own brown orbs directly, as a wide grin settled on his lips.

"Mornin'…"

Mercedes smiled back, tickled on the inside by Sam's early morning drawl. Most of the time he kept his Southern accent pretty much at bay, but when relaxed or sleepy, Sam's country roots took over.

"Good morning," she replied softly as Sam lifted his head to kiss her on the lips briefly…morning breath be damned. As he settled back on the pillow drowsily, Mercedes returned to her quiet inspection of his lovely features…still using her small brown digits to tiptoe lightly over his face.

"What's on your mind, darlin'?" Sam asked, knowing that his girlfriend usually enjoyed engaging him in hushed pillow talk whenever they woke up way too early to get ready for work or church. It was something he'd had to get used to, obviously…Sam was a notorious nightbird. But he also loved knowing that his lady shared her first thoughts of every day with him and him alone. And he ached to know what she was considering so thoughtfully.

"I don't know…you, I guess," Mercedes shrugged. "Sometimes I forget how beautiful you are." She bit her lip shyly and threaded her fingers through the freshly trimmed locks that stuck out in disarray. "Just reminding myself. I know it's creepy…" she scrunched her nose at him playfully.

"Not creepy," Sam laughed. "It's cute. But I ain't got nothin' on you…" he flirted as he swooped in for another kiss, this one much deeper than the last.

The couple shared a series of sweet pecks, which became slow lingering smooches…finally culminating in a fevered lip-lock that left each of them breathless. As they kissed, Mercedes slowly let go of Sam's hair…using it to wind a meandering path down his neck, over his shoulder, along his bicep, and across his chest…settling there to rest where she could feel the rapid beating of his heart just underneath. Sam used his arms to wrap more securely around his girlfriend, hands clasped in the small of her back and pulling her more firmly against his body under the covers. Relishing in the warmth of his embrace, Mercedes shifted slightly, aligning herself more fully along his tall body and draping one of her thighs over his leg. Then she allowed her hands to continue their journey, running her long nails lightly over his ribcage. As she began to investigate the solid musculature of his abdomen, Sam allowed his own hands to slip over the curve of her bottom, appreciating the softness of the skin underneath her pajama shorts. The kiss continued -tongues clashing, lips wrestling- until they finally pulled apart, gazing wordlessly into each other's eyes.

Sam knew already that Mercedes' desire to marry before making love was an important part of what made her Mercedes. He also understood that her decision wasn't about him…understood that it was a deeply personal thing that had no bearing whatsoever on whether or not she loved him. So ever since the day he'd promised to respect her wishes completely, the young man worked hard to make sure she'd trust him to always do so. He never became "handsy" anymore, never attempted to push the boundaries of their physical life further. He never made mention of getting "a little something, something," the way he had with Quinn years ago -and even though it was hard for him- he had never regretted it.

There was a time when Sam had been convinced that being in a relationship this way, was pretty much tantamount to being friends who occasionally held hands and kissed….that the romantic aspect of their partnership relied almost solely on physical closeness. But he was learning that friction had never dictated how he felt for Mercedes. And he realized that they'd managed to become closer, even more comfortable together without the sex issue constantly rearing its ugly head. So even though he was thoroughly enjoying the feel of her body on top of his, the way the globe of her butt filled the palm of his hand…he knew now would be a good time to put a stop to what they were doing...

Pecking her lips once more, Sam shifted his weight, gently disentangling himself from his girlfriend's embrace, and prepared to climb out of bed. Playfully, he teased, "Much as I'm enjoyin' wakin' up like this, I think I better pump the brakes a little. There's a cold shower callin' my name…"

As she watched Sam attempt to roll towards the edge of the king-sized and head for the ensuite bathroom, Mercedes made up her mind to finally speak on something she'd been anxious to bring up the past few weeks. In order to stop him from moving any further away, Mercedes reached over and placed a timid hand on his thigh…which surprised Sam so much he stilled -long enough for her to quickly straddle his body. It was literally the first time Sam had ever been allowed between Mercedes' spread legs.

Smirking a little at the shocked expression that had taken over Sam's features, Mercedes felt any residual timidity and nervous energy leave her body. She opened her mouth to speak, because she had something very important to say.

"Sam," she started. "I want you to know that ever since that day when you lit up candles all over the apartment like Boyz II Men in the "I'll Make Love To You" video -not to seduce me, but to tell me you understood that we don't need sex to be romantic with each other- I've been watching you."

"Umm…" Sam stammered. "You have?"

She nodded. "Yes. I think a small part of me -despite what you said- was worried that maybe we couldn't be happy with this sex thing between us. Maybe I expected for you to try and sneak your way into my panties on the sly with that 'rounding the bases' stuff while we were in bed some night, or maybe I thought one day you'd sit me down and try and change my mind again…" she shrugged. "…whatever the reason, I've been paying really close attention to you."

Sam immediately worried that, despite how closely he'd guarded himself and tried to be a perfect gentleman, he'd somehow crossed a line. "Mercedes, I never meant to…"

She raised a finger to his lips, "I know. You haven't done any of that. And I appreciate it. But these past weeks have taught me something."

"What?" Sam asked, still confused.

Mercedes took a deep breath. "I realized that, even though you said it out of frustration the night I told you I couldn't make love until I got married, you had a point when you said what you said about our relationship. The fact is, that if we weren't living together and cooking together and sleeping in the same bed, this…" she gestured between the two of them. "…would be pretty much no different than my friendship with Santana." Taking a moment to think about her words, Mercedes amended, "outside of the kissing."

"Mercedes…no…" Sam started to apologize and take those words back. He'd only said them out of frustration, after all, and regretted ever letting them leave his mouth. "…I…"

"No," Mercedes shushed him once again. "Don't apologize or try to take it back…you were absolutely right."

She shifted slightly and Sam fought to listen carefully, despite that his girlfriend was perched and moving against his groin.

"You know," Mercedes continued "in the back of my mind, when I said what I said about finding other things to enjoy as a couple, I figured we could do silly stuff like we did when we first got together…"

Sam grinned as she went on.

"Like go to carnivals, and sightsee, laugh at people on the subway, and play video games…" Mercedes continued. "…things we can do with any of our friends or in a group. I remembered how much fun we used to have back in the day just acting goofy, and thought it would be enough for our relationship to grow on while we waited." She took a deep breath. "Even though doing all of that together here in New York has been a lot of fun..."

Sam nodded in agreement.

Mercedes shook her head a little. "...Recently, I've come to realize that all of those things have nothing to do with why we're so close right now."

"They don't?" Sam asked, warily.

"Not at all," she replied. "I know this. Because you and I -even though we aren't fooling around- have become really intimate." Mercedes began to tick off examples using her fingers. "You see me in my head scarf, and I do all your laundry. We make out with morning breath…" Mercedes averted her eyes bashfully, "…and I'm pretty sure I accidentally used your toothbrush last week…"

Sam shrugged, not caring in the least.

"…and what I'm learning is," she continued, "that we express our love through those things. Because we don't share them with anybody but each other."

Sam nodded, agreeing completely. "Yeah, we're like a retired married couple."

"Minus the sex," Mercedes reminded him.

He shrugged, "They don't have sex, either…"

Laughingly slapping his arm, Mercedes went on. "Anyway, even though I try really hard not to be one of the many people in your life who only value you for your body…" She placed her hands on his stomach, gliding them slowly towards his chest. "…or your studly super-model good looks…" she trailed her hands over his shoulders, finally crossing them behind his head and reclining body-to-body so that their faces were just centimeters apart. Instinctively, Sam wrapped his own arms back around his girlfriend and squeezed her closer. "…I think we could probably stand to push back all the rules I set back when you said I could call the shots."

Sam wondered briefly whether he was in the middle of a really vivid dream.

"And I'm not saying that I'm gonna be your personal stripper or anything…and to be honest, you're still probably gonna have plenty of frustration in your life…"

Sam had no words, they'd all left his body when she mentioned strippers. So he nodded dumbly.

"…but you love me enough to take turns cleaning the bathroom…" Mercedes pecked the left corner of his slightly agape mouth. "…and make me breakfast in bed on Saturdays…" kiss to the right corner, "…and pretend to hail cabs, then hand them over to me, cuz you KNOW how hard it is for a sistah in this town…"

After sharing a chuckle, Mercedes picked up right where she left off. "Well, the fact is that I love you and trust you enough to stop worrying so much about all those rules. Do you understand?" She took a moment to search his face, wondering how specific she needed to be before Sam got the picture.

Her boyfriend –who incidentally, was even prettier than he'd been as a boy- was now a man. And still no dummy. He locked his legs around his girlfriend's legs and swiftly rolled them over so that she was beneath him. "So…you're pretty much saying I can touch you under your clothes now…and that I might make it to second base sometime soon?"

Mercedes giggled once more at the hopeful expression on Sam's face, before shrugging playfully. "You never know…I'm mean, I make no promises…"

He nodded happily.

"…but I'm guessing that the next time you need one-a those cold-ass showers…"

Sam raised an eyebrow expectantly.

"…I may just need to hop in there with you!"

By the time those Mercedes uttered those words, the couple –both laughing and kissing at this point- had plainly forgotten all about getting up in order to dress for church.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: I don't know how people are reacting to these, since a lot of lapsed Samcedians are wary of any and all things related to S5. I myself may not watch S6. But I hope somebody likes it!**_


	5. Sleepless

_**A/N: I don't know why I wrote this. It's sad. I usually write fluff. But whatevs…**_

_**This is set after the finale and since the spoilers aobut Sam still being in love with Mercedes during S6 have come out, I think this is a pretty good headcanon for the ensuing months. Of course now we know he's Coach Bieste's assistant as opposed to what I came up with, and we know half the NYC crew is back in Lima. But I wrote this before all that stuff was known.**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or the characters of Glee.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Sleepless<strong>

January 2015

Lima, OH

10:20 pm

It was a blizzardy Friday evening, and a determined –yet fatigued- Sam Evans trudged the walkway leading to his new home. As his heavy boots kicked freshly fallen flurries and slid precariously over the ice that threatened to derail his footing, Sam attempted to breathe deeply…the chilly winds burning his insides painfully as he inhaled, freezing visibly when the air left his lungs. The biting winds and swirling snow -normal for winter in the Midwest- made the simple of task of opening the front door difficult for the fumbling young man, and as he struggled to use his keys, Sam swore underneath his breath; fingers refusing to cooperate in the thick leather gloves he wore. Somehow Sam finally managed to succeed, and let himself in…puffing heavily and immediately welcoming the heat radiating from the furnace he'd purposely left blasting all day.

Taking a deep breath, Sam shook off his backpack, removed his heavy coat and gloves, kicked off his boots, and threw the beanie he sported haphazardly in the general direction of the table where he'd deposited his keys. Sam adjusted the thermostat -knowing that he'd be kicking off covers before daybreak if he left the temperature where it was- then surveyed his surroundings as he did every time he returned to them. A half grin played across his lips.

To his left was the living room, filled to bursting with a large sectional sofa, an assortment of tables, a lounger, and a huge entertainment center featuring the best video game equipment his modeling residuals could buy. Beyond that lay the kitchen and miniature bar …full of fancy cookware, late-night tv convenience gadgets, and an assortment of Star Wars collectible shot glasses -a housewarming gift from Blaine. There were two wooden bar stools on prominent display -Sam's favorite place to have breakfast- and matching dining room furniture facing the glass sliding door that led to his beloved patio and deck.

Sam's home boasted a half bath, just underneath the steps leading to the two bedrooms and two full bathrooms upstairs. Framed pictures of his friends and family covered every flat surface and most of the wall space, and the young man smiled as though they'd each greeted him as he took in their faces. Sam bounded up those stairs, tired and ready to rest, and prayed this wouldn't be another in a long line of sleepless nights. It'd been a year, now…and they'd become pretty commonplace in his life.

Sam sighed for the first time that evening as he stepped onto the second floor landing…no two ways about it, he was tense, and exhausted to distraction as per usual. Sam's schedule these days was demanding, to say the least…and he purposefully overextended himself in order to stay busy and have less downtime. Today, he'd left his home almost fifteen hours before, spent the biggest part of his day at McKinley High, then attended three classes at Lima University before meeting with his Biology tutor. Sam's life was hectic…and often left him run down. And although Sam also knew that he was probably pushing himself too hard, there was an upside…sheer volume of activity _sometimes_ insured him a good night's rest.

He passed the guest room, the hall bathroom, even more framed photographs… and finally entered his inner sanctum –desperately hoping this would be the case tonight. As he cleared the doorjamb, Sam felt a warm –but fleeting- sense of absolute peace. He loved the plaid window curtains that fluttered in the breeze on the spring days when he left the windows open. He grinned proudly at the IKEA computer desk he'd spent hours lovingly assembling on his own. Admired the paisley rug bearing a large blue splotch that he thought resembled the Green Lantern's ring insignia... This room, more than any other place he'd ever slept, was all his. Then he glanced at his huge four poster bed -incidentally, an exact replica of the bed he'd once shared with Mercedes in New York- and immediately, Sam's body re-tensed.

Shaking off the thought, Sam quickly stripped off the flannel button down he wore, the cherry-red long-sleeved Henley tee underneath, and his jeans. In socks and boxers, he made his way to the ensuite bathroom and turned on the shower. While he washed the day from his skin, Sam thought about the past several months of his life.

When he left New York City, Sam had once again found himself at a crossroads in his life. Both good and bad things had happened to him there…in almost equal measure. And Sam honestly had no clue whether to count his time in the Big Apple as something he felt proud of, or as an experience he'd regret for the rest of his life.

It was true that he'd managed to rekindle and nurture the most important relationship he'd ever had while there; true that his love for Mercedes had grown in the months they'd spent together as roommates and partners. But it was also true that he'd lost her again…and had no clue when or if they were likely to find each other for a fourth time.

Sam had managed to make a long-held professional fantasy come true, and was proud of himself for doing so. But he also resented what he'd had to endure before said fantasy was realized. He'd loved the time he spent with his closest friends; loved learning how to navigate the waters of real adult life alongside them…but in the end Sam learned that he was expected to find his own footing independent of them all, and the realization had hurt deeply. All things considered, young Evans sometimes wished –more than anything else- that he could place his experiences in the metropolis firmly behind him; forget them, and start planning his real future…one he'd live entirely on his own terms. But he knew that would never be the case.

The first thing Sam had done, after returning to Lima, was visit McKinley High. If most of his friends were confused by him leaving the big city and returning to one where neither his family nor his friends now lived, they showed a lot of tact by not mentioning it to his face. But the truth was, whenever Sam felt at odds with himself or lost in any way, being in Lima helped. Even moreso than the city itself, McKinley High was a place where Sam always felt grounded and at home. Maybe it was because he'd had some of the best times of his life in that choir room over the years. Or perhaps the reason lay in the fact that his Glee friends had never neglected to be there for him, through those good –and other, not so good- times. Whatever the reason, Sam knew that if there were big decisions to be made about his future, then his alma mater in Lima, OH was the place where he was most likely to make the right ones.

Once there, the familiarity of the place had hit Sam like a ton of bricks. He smirked, inhaling the same old, musky, hallway smell. He chuckled at the sight of two or three Titans wielding freshly-dispensed slushies, no doubt to use on some unsuspecting socially inferior peer. Ahead, a Cheerio and her burly boyfriend snuck into a janitor's closet, apparently to take advantage of an end-of-the-school year lax in attendance taking. Former Principal Figgins nodded in recognition of the youth he'd once referred to as a "sexy teen imbecile" as he dry-mopped the freshly waxed linoleum. As he walked purposely toward the choir room, Sam was overwhelmed with the sensation that he was in exactly the right place to figure out what he needed to do next... he had every confidence that his next move would come to him, the very instant he entered the choir room.

The feeling, however, left him as soon as he peeked in the door window. His favorite classroom in the entire school had been transformed in the months since his high school graduation; it was now a dusty computer lab. Mr. Schue's whiteboard had been replaced with huge projector screens. The risers where he and his friends had sang and goofed off were gone; computer desks having taken their place. Brad's piano corner was now home to a teacher's table, where an unfamiliar-looking man wearing tortoiseshell glasses and a plaid blazer with elbow patches now sat using his phone to play Bingo Bash. Sudden pangs of disappointment filled Sam's chest, as he realized for the first time that plotting his future might prove much more difficult than he'd originally thought.

Knowing that he needed the advice of someone he trusted to help him now, Sam first contemplated visiting Mrs. Schuester. She was, obviously, the guidance counselor…and she'd attempted to help him once before. Her advice about colleges that didn't require SAT scores and scholarships that relied on his abilities as an essay writer notwithstanding, Sam knew Emma could probably shed some much-appreciated light on what he needed to do in order to start building his life as an adult. Truth be told, if Sam hadn't had his heart set on getting his photo on the side of a bus, he'd have probably tried things her way already. So Mr. Schue's wife was a pretty good resource to tap. Halfway there though, Sam remembered that the redhead was probably still on maternity leave.

Then he debated seeking out Coach Bieste for some advice. She'd always had a lot of sympathy for her boys, something Sam could use a little of right now, to be honest. And according to Puck, Coach Bieste was really good at helping a body grieve. Sam knew he would be in mourning over his relationship with Mercedes for quite some time, knew he would miss Blaine and Artie now that everyone seemed intent on scattering to the winds… Furthermore, he and Coach had gotten close during Superhero Club meetings Sam's senior year, and the young man truly respected Shannon's pragmatic approach to problem solving. There was a good chance his former football coach could help him get his life together.

With that in mind, Sam turned and shuffled towards the teacher's lounge. He snuck in, and there at a table reading, sat Will Schuester. Immediately, Sam changed his mind about finding Coach Bieste, and approached the former Spanish teacher instead. When Will raised his head to see who'd cast a shadow on his book, he beamed, stood up, and embraced Sam like a long-lost friend.

Sam and Will spent the remainder of Will's free period discussing the past year. Sam described all that he had seen and done in New York, entertaining his former teacher with tales of life in the big city. He bragged about the modeling jobs he'd landed, and recounted stories of all the things Will's former students had done there. He took out his phone in order to show Will pictures from Rachel's opening night, Kurt's debut as Peter Pan, Mercedes' first stop on her mall tour, Blaine's showcase, and Artie's film festival. They laughed about Santana's career attention deficit…Sam animatedly describing to a laughing Will how the feisty Latina had been a publicist, a backup singer, and a Broadway understudy, all in the span of about three weeks! Then Sam asked for updates on Jake, Marley, Unique, Ryder, and Kitty.

Just before the bell rang, Sam timidly broached the subject of Glee Club. Sitting there, he'd felt a strong compulsion to re-build New Directions and help make it better than ever. Tentatively, Sam asked if Will would be interested in overseeing the group. After explaining to Will that he'd be receiving residuals for his Treasure Trailz campaign for as long as the commercial slots aired and the bus ads were sold, he promised to underwrite any and all expenses for the year. Sam was certain that the Baby-Gleeks would re-join; in fact, he was sure that they'd be ecstatic about it! Sam knew without a doubt that he could help Mr. Schue take Nationals again…that they could reclaim their former glory using his money and healthy influx of great ideas. Sam was finally in a position to give back a little bit of what the club had given him over the years…and he seriously thought doing so could help him find his footing in life, form a plan.

As Sam fondly remembered his own role in saving the Club the previous season alongside Blaine, he even promised to do most of the work; gave Will Schuester the option of being faculty advisor in name only while Sam used what he knew to take the main prize…at the very least it would give him a project to focus on this summer, Sam mused, certain Schuester would be very quick to agree.

Will was moved by Sam's speech, going so far as to reminisce about similar speech made by Finn in this same room. But he politely declined Sam's offer. Will now had Daniel and Emma to support, he explained to a bewildered Sam, and important adult relationships to foster. He'd begun New Directions, the History teacher went on, because his life at the time was lacking in a lot of things. He'd been unfulfilled, unhappy, and grasping for straws. These days, Will continued, he realized that his close relationships with the Glee kids were a crutch he'd clung to in an attempt to ignore his loveless marriage, his inadequacies as a Spanish teacher, and his many dreams gone unfulfilled. Now he had a happy marriage, a job he was finally good at, and a son of his own to boot! Will had new dreams now, and wanted to focus on them…

Sam understood Will's position, though it disappointed him. So when he made his goodbyes, he did so with a half-hearted smile on his lips and a worried expression in his eyes. After congratulating Mr. Schue once again on the baby, he left and made tracks for the Hummel-Hudson home.

Carole Hummel, still not used to having an empty nest, welcomed Sam and his huge duffel bag inside with open arms. After insisting that he stay indefinitely while figuring out his next steps, she made them each a cup of cocoa and they sat at the kitchen table for a long talk. She could tell Sam had a lot on his mind and wanted to help ease his worries.

Sam began by explaining everything he'd neglected to tell Will about the time he'd spent in the Big Apple…things Mrs. Carole probably already knew about and understood before he even opened his mouth. He knew that Kurt had more than likely dished with his stepmom in the beginning about Sam's dislike for the city, his inability to sleep at night, and how hard it had been for him to find meaningful work in his field. Sam was aware that Finn's mom already knew that Sam's tenuous sanity had found a stronghold when Mercedes came into town; understood without asking that Mercedes had been Sam's rock, simply by getting him out of the overcrowded loft and allowing him feel less lonely. Mrs. Carole was also aware that Sam and his former girlfriend had grown up a lot since their high school days, and that losing the relationship a third time was harder than it had been before…they'd made declarations, promises, stated their intentions this time around. After pouring out his heart, Sam dejectedly described Will's rejection of his plan to reform Glee, and how he'd hoped to use that as a stepping stone to wherever ended up in life. The sympathetic woman's heart went out to her dejected honorary third son.

After listening to Sam's diatribe and nodding quietly for quite some time, Mrs. Carole gently asked Sam if he would like some unsolicited advice. Because he trusted Mrs. Carole as much as he did his own mom, Sam readily accepted. Mrs. Hummel knew she had nothing but sympathy and pithy platitudes to offer with respect to Sam's love woes, so she offered neither. However, she had several ideas about the problems he was having in other areas, so she laid them all out for him to mull over.

Carole first suggested that Sam do what Finn had done, just before he passed away. Namely, find a school -any school- that would accept his application based on his high school performance as is…and enroll for classes in the fall. She advised Sam to choose courses in every subject that interested him, and take his time to do well in them while enjoying the college experience before declaring a major. She told him to live in a dormitory or get an off-campus apartment, so as to develop a true understanding of taking care of himself as a responsible adult…despite the fact that she would have preferred to have him in her own home. Finally, Carole suggested that Sam only go to McKinley High School every day if he could find a professor willing to give him college credit for it.

Finn, Carole explained to a rapidly nodding Sam, never had any real professional goals in mind when he agreed to oversee the Glee Club. It had never occurred Sam's deceased friend to become a teacher, until his relationship with Will became volatile, she went on. What Sam needed, in Carole's opinion, was to find a place where he belonged, and do so without anyone else's undo influence. There was no doubt in Carole's mind that Sam would do great things in his life, but he was much more likely to find out what they were if he trusted his own instincts and took steps to ensure the proper foundation.

Sam saw the wisdom in Carole's words, understood that she'd been looking forward to seeing her son claim his own greatness at some point…he also sympathized, knowing that now she never would. And he believed in her predictions, enough to put a newly thought out plan into action. So he called his mother in Kentucky, flew his entire family out to Lima for the weekend, and spent the next forty-eight hours indulging in an Evans/Hummel Family brainstorm.

Surprisingly enough, he found out that Lima University had been more than willing to offer a place in their hallowed halls to a slightly incredulous Sam Evans. It was true that his cumulative high school GPA was less than stellar, and that his standardized test scores were nothing short of abominable. But while at McKinley, Sam had participated in several Varsity sports, was a key member of a nationally acclaimed show choir, and had served the school well as student government vice president. The young man managed to secure recommendation letters from several teachers, former employers, a rising Broadway ingénue, a touring recording artist, and an actress featured in several nationally aired television commercials. And he'd cheekily included becoming "the face and abs" of Treasure Trailz under "experience" on his resume. He was admitted, and decided immediately to find a place of his own...a townhouse off-campus, which Blaine insisted on flying in to help Sam furnish and decorate.

Then he enrolled in a literature class he found intriguing, mostly because several of his favorite sci-fi novels featured heavily on the online syllabus. He signed up for courses in the art department, one of which offered intern credit for hours spent helping his old art teacher at McKinley, Mrs. Kale. Rounding out his schedule were several courses in the music department; voice and instrument instruction that Sam knew he'd enjoy and do well in. He made it through his first semester without a hitch, and was now happily two weeks into his second…Sam was proud of what he'd accomplished so far. As he dried himself post-shower, Sam offered silent thanks once again to Carole for her amazing advice.

As he donned boxer shorts to sleep in and crossed back into his bedroom, Sam smiled again. It had been a tough row to harrow, but the past eight months had borne some truly amazing fruit for the former slacker. The stimulation kept him happy most days, even if he still wallowed in misery most nights. Despite the fact that Sam inflicted brutal physical exhaustion on his lanky frame on a daily basis, when his head hit the pillow at night, his brain refused to tire. Under the cover of darkness, Sam's regrets and painful memories took over all five of his senses. He mused and navel-gazed, tortured himself with fantasies…fantasies he might never see come true. But the torture was satisfying in some ways as well; they were like a sore tooth you can't help but probe with your tongue. And some nights his fatigued body won out over his restless mind; though few and far between, there had been times when Sam's exhaustion allowed him to asleep almost immediately. He wished he'd have figured this out for himself a year ago when he first arrived in NYC. Sam could have saved himself a lot of misery…

As he flopped into bed, Sam's mind inevitably began to wander back to those first few months in the most exciting city in the country. Most exciting…and to his mind, the most confusing. Sam, Blaine, and Artie had arrived in the city full of childlike wonder, and excited to make their dreams come true. Sam looked forward to spending time with his bros, living without any parental interference, booking modeling jobs left and right before finding his own place, and making a success of his life alongside his best friends in the world. He figured he'd find a place for himself, find love, find happiness… and he'd do it all without ever having to see another chalkboard in his life. The future had looked bright, and Sam was brimming over with the possibilities when he'd boarded the plane.

The reality though, had been a tough pill to swallow. On first sight, Sam had hated New York City. They'd arrived mid-August, so that both Blaine and Artie could register for college classes. The city in the sweltering heat was far from ambient in Sam's opinion, which should have been his first clue that city life was decidedly NOT for him. He smirked and remembered the time Blaine had taken a deep breath, exclaiming over the scent of roasting lamb wafting from sidewalk gyro carts…and encouraged Sam to do the same. He'd done so, only to be accosted brutally by the smell of hot urine. The memories had put Sam off pita bread for life.

He also reminisced fondly the day Artie had invited Sam to narrate as he shot impromptu footage on a crowded subway platform. Sam, no stranger to off-the-cuff monologues and excited to help his friend, had agreed. However, he'd found it difficult to find things to say that didn't involve descriptions of "nasty assholes on the sidewalk who walk too fast," "women in really high heels that throw used tissues and Monopoly money at homeless people," and "guys on the train that act like they're allergic to deodorant." Sam laughed out loud at the memory of Artie accusing him of having "absolutely no chill" and opting to "narrate the damn thing" himself.

Sam had never liked the bustle or the hustle of NYC, honestly…and he'd resented having to screech at cabbies in order to secure rides for he and his friends; although in retrospect he had to admit it was really funny watching Rachel do the same. In New York, he finally understood of all the dirty looks he and his Glee friends had received at McKinley; he'd happened upon the random people who sang and danced in Time's Square several times in those first few weeks, and they never failed to freak him out. It hadn't taken long for Sam to figure out that unlike Kurt, Rachel, Artie, and Blaine…he didn't like this new place, and he hated what he was becoming there even more.

Instead of impressing bookers and securing lucrative modeling assignments, Sam was told time and time again that his look was less, "hot boy about town," and more "divorced father of two." They hated his hair, insulted his wardrobe, questioned his diet, and generally made him feel "less than." When Sam wasn't being informed that he lacked sex appeal, edginess, enthusiasm, aloofness or intrigue, the compliments were always mildly insulting…and in every instance, Sam was sent packing with less hope than he'd arrived with.

Instead of making money and finding a place of his own, Sam had to get by on an allowance from his parents while couch surfing in the Bushwick House of Horrors. Instead of having adventures with Blaine and meeting beautiful women in sophisticated places, Sam played video games, trying not to hear as Rachel did vocal warm-ups in her sleep or Klaine had really loud sex. He felt disjointed, like he hadn't received his invite for this "magical" experience everyone else seemed to be enjoying. The only thing keeping him at all grounded was his playful relationship with Artie, but even that fell short of resembling a real life…no, Sam knew four weeks into his stay in Casa Gayberry that this was definitely not the place for him. Every day he debated packing his things and slipping away into the night.

Relief had come in the form of his ex-girlfriend, and he'd been grateful for her presence in a way that was pretty much second nature to him by that time. This was the same ex that had given him her heart when he had nothing to give her in return years ago, after all. The girl that beamed at him gratefully when he'd agreed to be her budget prom date, the girl who'd danced the robot and laughingly told asked him never to change. This girl, now a woman, had held his hands on moonlit nights all those years ago; kissed him softly when tears threatened to streak down his cheeks….this was the girl who'd told him with clumsy words and heartfelt gazes that he did all that for her, and more.

In New York, Mercedes had kept him company, and held him at night. She'd listened as he complained about the city, never once attempting to change his mind. They'd recaptured those days from long ago…reminisced about falling in love as children while re-falling in love as adults. She'd written a song about him and sang it for the whole world to hear…He'd allowed himself visions of a forever with her, just as he had in high school. Mercedes had become his lifeblood, all over again; and when she left New York, Sam knew it was time for him to leave as well. So here he was, in Lima…working himself into a frazzle. Spending his nights terrified that they'd never get another chance.

As Sam got comfortable, yawning loudly, he drowsily admitted to himself that he wouldn't trade his experiences in NYC for the world…he'd do it all over again if he had the chance. Everything that had happened, good and bad, had afforded Sam some measure of clarity. The dog, the snotty sleeve, dinner with Mercedes' backup singers, the red rubber band…all of those things had taught Sam something about what was in his heart. And as much as he and Mercedes had learned about love together, those hot summer nights years and years ago, he knew now that they still had a lot to learn. As Sam finally drifted off into dreams of the woman he loved, he just hoped they'd learn them together as well.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: This was sad, as I said before...but it's one of my faves. Hope somebody dug it.  
><strong>_


End file.
